I feel like such a hypocrite. Here I am, promoting higher education yet I am questioning whether it is really for everyone.
But this isn't about weather our government should just pass the DREAM ACT, so that well deserving students who cannot pay for college apply for financial aid.
No. This is about older individuals entering the college world way past their midlife crisis.
I am so annoyed by these two ladies who are in one of my classes. Seriously the two are in their mid 50's. I don't know their exact age, but if they are younger, they didn't age well. OMG.... they are the slowest people I have met. Everything in Class must be repeated at least TWICE! and god forbid we have some sort of assignment online or are asked to look up a website. When they contribute to the class its just downright annoying and their banter is pointless. They repeated exactly what the prof has lectured about.... but ten times slower than the prof. They take FOREVER to make a point. Frankly I want to tell them to SHUT IT.
Also, here at work the frustration is more present because of our self- service registration process. I get loads of calls asking me to sign them up for classes. Or wanting an exemption from this rule because they don't know how or don't have a computer available at home.
I'm Sorry, but its not my fault you didn't keep up with technology... and if you aren't willing to travel to the public library or come to campus to use the Public computers to register, you might as well call it quits before you enroll in any class. EVERYTHING is on a computer now... more specifically, everything requires internet. Good luck completing assignments with that kind of attitude or work ethic.
It is so frustrating especially when they go stubborn on you and are completely handicapped when it comes to reading a computer screen or worse following instructions.
I am not saying all older people are like this.. i guess its those who have nothing else to do, and have little to none experience with a computer throughout their lives that fall under this annoying attitude.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
beyond the smile...
Beyond a smile,
tears dwell, stomach knot aches, and the knot in one's throat suffocates.... but no one has to know.
I keep telling myself that if I just keep at this, I can lie to myself. I can get sucked into the cherades and maybe learn to ignore all that in my opinion sucks. I need to focus on the positive side. I need to magnify the small positive things and make them grandeur in meaning. I am really good at doing that. Though it is something I swore I would never do, I am having to resort to it to survive, to breathe, to lie to myself.
I may loose myself, my being, my dreams, my ambitions.. but that is what I signed up for. Those are just some of the consequences of my choices. They were clear to me when I made my decisions and they have never been more clear than they are today.
tears dwell, stomach knot aches, and the knot in one's throat suffocates.... but no one has to know.
I keep telling myself that if I just keep at this, I can lie to myself. I can get sucked into the cherades and maybe learn to ignore all that in my opinion sucks. I need to focus on the positive side. I need to magnify the small positive things and make them grandeur in meaning. I am really good at doing that. Though it is something I swore I would never do, I am having to resort to it to survive, to breathe, to lie to myself.
I may loose myself, my being, my dreams, my ambitions.. but that is what I signed up for. Those are just some of the consequences of my choices. They were clear to me when I made my decisions and they have never been more clear than they are today.
Monday, September 12, 2011
...just because...
Contigo descubrí
Tantas cosas que hay en mí
Tu forma de hacerme ver
Que todo lo puedo hacer
No hay nada que me pueda detener
Aunque no estés
Nada nos separará
Lo sabes y lo sé
Tú jamás me has dejado en soledad
Soy felíz por lo que hiciste de mí,
Y no podrán hacerme olvidar
Que fué tu amor que me enseñó
Que fuiste tú quién me enseñó
Todo lo he de intentar
Y si la vida me ha de costar
No importa, a tu lado voy a estar
Tú me enseñaste a amar
Una manera de gozar
Teniéndote aunque no puedas estar
Monday Updates
My Kiddos, Week one is gone. Things at work went fairly smooth for being the beginning of the year. I have a lot of returning students, which I am thrilled about. There are some new ones, and I am trying to get used to them as much as they are trying to get used the rules. I have many hopes for this upcoming year. My staff seems so much better than last year. I am still working on making sure my expectations are met. Some of my new parents have already started with their little attitudes because I have scolded their child and taken away play time. Seriously, they know what kind of kids they have and if they have gotten away with breaking the rules before, its not going to happen with me. Being responsible for 120 kids, and making sure 4 other adults follow instructions, I try my best to catch those who try and break the rules or go around them. If they get caught, they are less likely to repeat them, especially if they are punished for it.
School- arg! where do i start? I have an exam this week, and I have to start a presentation and I have about 7-9 chapters to read up on. I should probably start on some of that while here. (here?---see below)
Work- I am currently at work. i have had a bunch of rude callers. Just waiting for that one call to make it worth the while. Its really no particular call. Just a feeling I get knowing I actually made someones day when they call. Some days I am successful and others, I leave home wishing it had happened, but I am thankful that I don't ever leave this job hating it.
Home- meh! constant questioning by people i live with is getting old. I need to loose myself in my work and school life in order to survive it. I wish I had somewhere to go , someone to talk to, just to see if I am still myself. The only person I talk to, who makes me feel like myself is contemplating not talking to me anymore... but that was expected. Sad- but I must remind myself that i chose this path and there is no way to turn back now.
School- arg! where do i start? I have an exam this week, and I have to start a presentation and I have about 7-9 chapters to read up on. I should probably start on some of that while here. (here?---see below)
Work- I am currently at work. i have had a bunch of rude callers. Just waiting for that one call to make it worth the while. Its really no particular call. Just a feeling I get knowing I actually made someones day when they call. Some days I am successful and others, I leave home wishing it had happened, but I am thankful that I don't ever leave this job hating it.
Home- meh! constant questioning by people i live with is getting old. I need to loose myself in my work and school life in order to survive it. I wish I had somewhere to go , someone to talk to, just to see if I am still myself. The only person I talk to, who makes me feel like myself is contemplating not talking to me anymore... but that was expected. Sad- but I must remind myself that i chose this path and there is no way to turn back now.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
My Kiddos- year II
Yesterday was the beginning of my second year as a site facilitator for an after school program.
If you follow my blogs, you might have seen a few blogs last year complaining about my staff. I was not planning on returning this year as a site facilitator or to the program at all. My school schedule was all over the place and it would've been impossible for me to accommodate it into my schedule. As if my some sort of miracle I was able to arrange it to fit, dropping this class here and adding it over here.. etc. I had also just been given the approval to work full time at my other job, so I didn't know how I would pull off 40hours of work at job #1, 15hours of work at job #2, taking 15hours of school, plus have time for homework and gym time. The result was not looking too good. I managed to let my boss (job #1) know that I would be working less hours even though I had requested to be considered full time.
I loved my job with the kiddos... despite the horrid staff I had last year I enjoyed every minute of it. So I did what I had to and lie. Told my boss I was starting some sort of treatment and I needed to leave by 2pm. I felt bad for lying but the thought of having my kiddos be wrangled up by someone else was just not a happy thought.
This particular school that I am currently at had a bad reputation. No staff was willing to stick it out for more than a month. The site facilitators they had ran out the door claiming that the kids were off the wall and uncontrollable Among the program, the substitutes dreaded having to go there because it was so hectic. To my surprise the first year I was offered the Site facilitator position I took it, not knowing what school I would be placed at. When I found out what school I was at, I was sure that the supervisor did not like me and wanted to get rid of me. I was so nervous and had nightmares about it but I stuck it through. I did have several staff members come and go but I was determined to get rid of the bad reputation this school had.
I am working on it. The site as a whole has come along way, and the kids are finally understanding a routine, and seeing that no matter what they do.. I show up everyday. I forgive and forget. It is something they never got from other site facilitators. Since I felt my work was not done, I NEEDED to go back.
My "hubby" was so against me holding two jobs and taking 15 hours of school, he flat out told me I couldn't do it. I felt horrible. No one had ever told me I couldn't handle it. Needless to say we got into a heated discussion and I got what I wanted. I know he means well, I know his concern was that I was taking on too much, but that is just who I am. I probably need to get into the habit of not taking on so much. i am not perfect and I know that because I have so much on my plate, some of my duties(such as homework)are done poorly. I have my priorities, but sometimes my passion to work with kids gets in the way and I don't know how to say no to their angelic faces. (yes, even the rotten apples have angelic faces to me.)
I am hoping for an awesome school year ahead. I want to make this an awesome after school program full of fun filled activities while also completing with all requirements that need to be met.
If you follow my blogs, you might have seen a few blogs last year complaining about my staff. I was not planning on returning this year as a site facilitator or to the program at all. My school schedule was all over the place and it would've been impossible for me to accommodate it into my schedule. As if my some sort of miracle I was able to arrange it to fit, dropping this class here and adding it over here.. etc. I had also just been given the approval to work full time at my other job, so I didn't know how I would pull off 40hours of work at job #1, 15hours of work at job #2, taking 15hours of school, plus have time for homework and gym time. The result was not looking too good. I managed to let my boss (job #1) know that I would be working less hours even though I had requested to be considered full time.
I loved my job with the kiddos... despite the horrid staff I had last year I enjoyed every minute of it. So I did what I had to and lie. Told my boss I was starting some sort of treatment and I needed to leave by 2pm. I felt bad for lying but the thought of having my kiddos be wrangled up by someone else was just not a happy thought.
This particular school that I am currently at had a bad reputation. No staff was willing to stick it out for more than a month. The site facilitators they had ran out the door claiming that the kids were off the wall and uncontrollable Among the program, the substitutes dreaded having to go there because it was so hectic. To my surprise the first year I was offered the Site facilitator position I took it, not knowing what school I would be placed at. When I found out what school I was at, I was sure that the supervisor did not like me and wanted to get rid of me. I was so nervous and had nightmares about it but I stuck it through. I did have several staff members come and go but I was determined to get rid of the bad reputation this school had.
I am working on it. The site as a whole has come along way, and the kids are finally understanding a routine, and seeing that no matter what they do.. I show up everyday. I forgive and forget. It is something they never got from other site facilitators. Since I felt my work was not done, I NEEDED to go back.
My "hubby" was so against me holding two jobs and taking 15 hours of school, he flat out told me I couldn't do it. I felt horrible. No one had ever told me I couldn't handle it. Needless to say we got into a heated discussion and I got what I wanted. I know he means well, I know his concern was that I was taking on too much, but that is just who I am. I probably need to get into the habit of not taking on so much. i am not perfect and I know that because I have so much on my plate, some of my duties(such as homework)are done poorly. I have my priorities, but sometimes my passion to work with kids gets in the way and I don't know how to say no to their angelic faces. (yes, even the rotten apples have angelic faces to me.)
I am hoping for an awesome school year ahead. I want to make this an awesome after school program full of fun filled activities while also completing with all requirements that need to be met.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Minorities Unite!
I was so taken back when a classmate of mine looked at me and said she shared in my frustration. I was taken back because for the first time I felt a connection in how minority students feel.
We sat in class the professor made a comment about phony politicians. The comment is not what this is about. My classmate happens to be of Asian decent. When the "white" people in class hear the teachers comments several of them spoke up. They were apparently offended and thought the professor was insulting them... yet the professor is Caucasian as well.
My classmate caught me gaze, and she smiled and said... "I know.. I know what you are thinking.... white people are so DEFENSIVE..." as if she had read my mind.
The reason why it took me by surprise was because I had never experience a sense of unity with other minority groups other than that of my own. Its really nice to see that we "brown" people aren't the only ones going through our classes and feeling annoyed every time something is thrown at the Caucasian population, only to hear them get all worked up while OTHERS are throwing their opinions out there.
If minorities are able to tolerate stereotypes made against us all the time... why is it that whites get all worked up about it? Could it be their unwillingness to accept that even their ethnic group has flaws??
We sat in class the professor made a comment about phony politicians. The comment is not what this is about. My classmate happens to be of Asian decent. When the "white" people in class hear the teachers comments several of them spoke up. They were apparently offended and thought the professor was insulting them... yet the professor is Caucasian as well.
My classmate caught me gaze, and she smiled and said... "I know.. I know what you are thinking.... white people are so DEFENSIVE..." as if she had read my mind.
The reason why it took me by surprise was because I had never experience a sense of unity with other minority groups other than that of my own. Its really nice to see that we "brown" people aren't the only ones going through our classes and feeling annoyed every time something is thrown at the Caucasian population, only to hear them get all worked up while OTHERS are throwing their opinions out there.
If minorities are able to tolerate stereotypes made against us all the time... why is it that whites get all worked up about it? Could it be their unwillingness to accept that even their ethnic group has flaws??
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