whats HIS problem....

I have very few people whom I partner up to study...

Even with them, me helping them is never a given. If I am able to I will... but when I am stressing this much about MY presentations, it should be a given that I will concentrate on that and nothing else.


what ever.. some people just need to grow up.. and deal with things.


I can't help but feel bad, he just left... oh well..


This is such a random post but I needed a quick distraction..

Sometimes what bugs me keeps coming back and distracting me.. If I type it out/write it out.. it helps to just get over it and believe it or not it helps me stop thinking about it... and now that i have i must get back to work...


Toodles.

Hope floats???

I had lunch with "Dr. Pepper" (lol- don't ask) and a fellow classmate who has become a friend of mine. The topic always seems to come up no matter where or with who I am with.

This was no different. They talked about their relationships... yes. I pretty much stayed quiet but when asked about who or what guy I was dating, i just sat there. I have, like on most occasions, just sat there and said nothing.

LOL I found it funny how Dr, Pepper keep telling me how it was okay to go out with guys and it be strictly platonic. I don't even know how it came it. What is it and who can explain this to me?? Obviously they did explain it to me and although they had hope I would walk away thinking that this was the way to have fun, and just go out, I didn't. Who needs to go out?!

I have no desire to do any of this, and perhaps people may call me a hypocrite because I always say that I can't wait til I am married with kids. Obviously if I am not out there looking for someone, when will that happen? right?? My answer: In God's Time.

I don't feel like i need to LOOK for a guy. I have faith that God will place him in my path at the right time. sometimes i get impatient and ask for a sign. I have doubts that I will probably never get to experience this, marriage, motherhood. And if I don't I want a sign. A sign that will allow me to just begin to resign to the idea of not ever having such thing. It may be and sound a bit depressing but when your hopes are to build a family where support is unconditional, and marriage is a sacred thing, you can't help but keep hope afloat .

I sometimes think that I am trying to make up what I have lacked in my life. And perhaps this is true... But a big part of this desire that I have is to simply fulfill what I think God has planned in my life.

Yes sometimes I wish he would hurry, But whether I have yet to meet him or whether hes already in my life, I will try to be as patient as i can.

Dear God,

Please hurry.... send me signs, send me something. Give me the wisdom to see and understand what your plan for me is.

p.s. i am willing to relocate. :D

your humble servant,


Teresa

une, deux, troi....

Bonjour! Ca va?


lalalala.. im here bored as can be at work... -the library.

Who decided to open on the Sunday before labor day? it is so dead.

I got to do a lot of my readings an I would probably be ahead.. (not really) if i had brought most of my books.

Lately, I have been really wanting to brush up on my french, and i have no idea why. I think its because of my language methodology course.

Another reason for this is because my nephew, is also now taking french at the same middle school i did. I am saddened by the fact that the teacher who i had (with the exception of Mr. Long) are no longer there. Monsieur Pol and Madame Kel were excellent teachers . My brother, Dav, is in 7th grade this year! he too is taking french. I was upset when he told me he didn't have french class for two periods like I did when i was there. I hope this doesn't mean that they will eventually do away with the multilingual program they have there. That would be a shame.

Anywho... i am so proud that my nephew and also my lil bro are following in my footsteps and are studying french. I can already carry on a very basic conversation with them and no one at my moms knows what we are saying. lol the joys of being tri-lingual! I hope they excel in this and keep at it.

Ready for my random ranting? lol

guess who gave me a call last night at his usual time (2am) ? Superman. ask me if i answered? *pause*


nope!

(I've been thinking of changing his alias to cantinflas... lol ive always thought he looks like him... although he doesnt like it at all...lol also because superman is way too cool of an alias for him... so if I mention cantinflas, take note that he is Superman)



I did lie awake for a bit and wondered what his gf had done this time. Usually its a something valid and he has good reasons for being upset at her. the only times he calls me is to chat about something she did or failed to do. I no longer wish to be that friend who he tells his things to and then compares me to her. All the while, i am advocating for her and asking him to try to understand her. the whole thing is pathetic. For those who follow my blog and actually keep up (if you don't that's ok.. i don't blame you..lol) I had written in a previous post that i wouldn't answer his call the next time he called and i just wanted to share the fact that i kept my word.

It took a while to get back to sleep... I said a prayer for him. I don't see why he still calls me and the things he tells me about him and i getting married down the road is dumb and makes me feel like hes such a kid still. why and who would say that to someone when they have a girlfriend???? whoo?! even after I ask him not to say these things he continues and frankly, now... its just..... annoying.

GROW UP already! geez! lol..

Keeping the Faith

I don't know what else to do but keep the Faith.

Life seems to have found its favorite subject to pick on. Why is it that when I can finally see a dim light.. something ends up sweeping by and blowing it out?

I am excited to for this coming Tuesday.

Since my last post, I have found a new job as a Site Facilitator. I will be in charge of 100+ students and about 3 other staff members. I am nervous for many reasons.

One, the staff. As far as I know they are much older ladies coming to help. I am not knew at being in charge of a position, nor am I knew at at instructing people to do things. But I have experience with older people feeling like my opinion doesn't matter and that because of my age i shouldn't hold such a position. They may be right, because after all they do have more life experience than i do... but it is I that they have given the position to, not them.

I am also nervous because the school is new to me and although i spent a brief amount of time there on Friday, i still don't know what to expect on that first day. The chaos, but I am sure i will find a routine that works for us best.

It is going to be crazy.. but even so.. i have faith that it will all turn out ok.

I have been going over my budget and with tuition and insurance due around the corner i cannot help but stress and yes... break down at the thought of everything and at the thought of the fact that I am coming up blank when it comes to finding a solution.

At the thought of all of this i came to realize that keeping the faith is much much MUCH harder than it seems. A lot of the times i want to just be angry at God for not listening to my prayers and at wondering why this Life is so complicated at times.

Why is ti that my life differs from that of anyone else? I know that I lot of it, if not most of it has to do with the choices I have made for myself. But Why does life insist on beating on me, raining on my parade, or hiding the sunshine???

The rewards at the end of it all, I can only hope, they will be worth the tears, sacrifices etc. I have given all that I am able to give to my studies and my faith. When It comes to faith, I know that he acknowledges it, but HE just has a funny way of showing it.


blah.. that is it for now... my shift just ended and I am about to go jog.. I just need to get my mind off of things.

Au Revoir!