As Promised..

SuperMan,
also known as the prince in the white horse (more like a white camero),

*sigh* where do I begin, lol, Perhaps the beginning? That would mean going back to my 4th grade. He was in 5th grade and surprisingly we ended up in the same reading class… even then I knew he was pretty smart, (of course so was I lol) being in the highest reading level taught at that time.

I remember he always looked like he belonged somewhere else… or was it me? lol…. Ah, then there was middle school, the times our eyes met, in the hall, how I used to pass by the library when he was a student assistant just to see if I could catch a glimpse of him… There was something about him that just caught my attention, but being the shy girl I was, looking from afar sufficed.

And then there was high school, ah that darn school! Lol I’d see him and knew who he was, of course I would! Duh! Lol. … Watching him from a distance was interesting, there was always a girl near him, and I remember smiling and thinking ‘ there goes the guy who has it all, and has even been to David Robinsons house!!’ (long story, that goes back to grade school! )

His senior year, my junior year
goofing off and getting to know him while spending my time in morrow’s class while he had her class was nice. LOL I still remember morrow telling me, WARNING, me he was nothing but trouble. I assured her time and time again that it wasn’t like that, that he had no interest in me in that way. It is she who told me something I will always remember, to be upfront about what I was feeling. Hence the letter I wrote to him.

(a letter which hes kept all these years, he read it to me over the phone one night and it made me cringe, NOTE TO GIRLS EVERYWHERE – some guys keep ‘rejection letters’ and it wasn’t a rejection letter, but he assures it was. I just did what morrow advised me to do, tell him straight out that we were just friends.) ¬

Summer 09 Transfer Orientation-
Walking into a room I had been in for training before, now somehow felt different and strange; this was the school I would soon be attending, the blue room. Mingling among strangers made me feel out of place and I longed for a familiar face and I soon pushed that thought away because I knew I wouldn’t see anyone I knew. But then he walked in.. (to my defense I didn’t see him walk in and had no idea he was there, after all, he did walk in about half an hour late!) The group was separated in smaller groups and then fate kicks in placing us in the same group.

Touring the school and going to register for classes and everything else they had us do, was nice because we were able to catch up… and laugh mostly laugh, at how weird and how long we had known each other.

He blew me away, made me feel so nice, like someone cared. Most of all I loved that I got a chance to see if there had been anything there. I was able to explain why I had written him that letter in high school …

So he got to me, on a level only one other guy, “R” has gotten to know(this is very ironic because I guess you can say that back in high school I picked “R” over him, I met “R” around this time but that’s another story)… he listened, he had me figured out and it scared the living daylight out of me…. he even knows why , the true meaning of why I always wear something (a ring, a rubber band, etc.) on my ring finger

That summer I toured the country, not really I’m exaggerating but doesn’t it sound adventurous? Lol anyway…calling him and getting calls from someone back home was nice and I realized that it was something I missed having. He listened to all the places I had been and really lifted my spirits when no one else could or knew how to.

School started and seeing him around campus was just so neat! But I soon started to realize that there was something wrong with this picture. This guy is good looking, not that looks matter all that to me… he takes care of himself and at times he seemed vain and although it bugged me a bit, other qualities he possessed made me overlook this. He had a way of making the girls at school stare. When I would walk into a class they’d whisper and would occasionally talk too loud and I’d hear what they were saying. Needless to say I felt LUCKY!

He was there for my birthday and made the night really special for me. He’s truly a gentleman and I hope he ends up with a great girl, someone who can make him happy and appreciate his values and morals. I mostly pray for him to find someone who will be willing to give her whole heart to him, something I know I could never do.

I haven’t seen him at all this semester and we’re on week 3 already. Sometimes I wonder if it was the letter he wrote to me, or the one I wrote to him that made this be just a fling, a phase, or maybe a wake-up call to reality. I knew deep down that even though I liked him the feeling wouldn’t last, because it never did with other guys, that I would soon realize that my heart wasn’t in it. I was reminded that I had given my whole heart away already, I knew that in order to pursue whatever this was I would have to get it back. The thought scared me and I knew that the fear wasn’t of getting it back, but realizing that I didn’t want it back.

I know that I may never have the courage to say this to his face; even though I promised him I would… but here it goes,

I never lied, you are a great guy, and you asked me to tell you when someone came into my life that blew you out of the water. I told you he would have to be someone really great guy in order to do that. I don’t know if I will ever meet someone like that, but perhaps I already had or have him in my life. He isn’t better than you and you aren’t better than he is, it isn’t about a competition, because when it comes to “this” it is never a contest. I do want to apologize for misleading you or maybe misreading the signals. You deserve a girl who isn’t in so “focused in school.” You need someone who looks just as good as you do in designer clothes, in your “white horse” – (he knew my dislike in cars especially sport cars lol) etc... Thank you for thinking I would make the perfect wife, mother and best friend. Thank you for listening, thank you for thinking and letting me know I am great. Maybe what we had, was perfect and that going beyond would have ruined it.

really quick post.

ok.. so ive been pretty busy with the school thing lately.. but just so you know to come back and check up on this thing.. a blog is in the works.. i promise.. heres a hint..


"R" and or superman will be the subject..


lol.. dont

ok.. its 1am.. and i should leave and get some sleep. Happy Monday!

Sociology Professor

hmm.. i cant remember his name.. i had a sociology professor at sac the summer i got out of high school.. and i just walked by one of the classrooms here at the library and there he is.. stuttering away. I know it sounds mean.. but that's why i recognized him.

Hes teaching here! at OLLU!! i wonder what hes teaching??? lol.. he brought back memories.. in fact hes the one who introduced me to Paolo Coehlo! i wonder if he remembers me.

He used to sweat a lot.. and he did warn us of his stuttering problem, some jerks still laughed at him.. and he used to spit a lot.. but he was very thoughtful cus he kept his distance from us. ahh! I'm just rambling waiting for his name to pop into my head..

S! did his last name end in S?
anyhow.. idk.. i'm just bored...I would've brought my backpack to finish up my journal entry due tomorrow. lame!

so.. ahem.. i want more followers! you facebook people need to become my fans! lol.. i know who's reading it cus I've gotten texts! .

i must admit its kinda flattering to know.

hmm... so? what do i do??.. i got about half an hour.. hmm.. lets see..

oh! umm.. MY CLASSES!
Taking 16 hrs this semester!

Mondays - Wednesday
History 8:05 - 920
-- My old supervisor is the professor.. Sister Flores. which reminds me i have to
-- print outs to stay ahead.

Work-Study 10am - 12pm
-- find me at the Circulation desk lol
** on Mondays i also work the 8- midnight shift

Math for Teachers II - 12:50 - 2:30
--Vaquiax calls me "TERE" deal with it! lol..

Boys and Girls Club 3pm - 6pm (FRIDAYS TOO)

TUES-THURS
MAST - 9:55 - 11:20
--a course that didn't get transferred.. grr!

EDUC 4363 3:45pm-5pm
--Linguistics anyone??? Interesting class

EDUC 4330 6:40pm - 9:30pm
--Child Development
-- sometimes it feels like I'm in a parenting class.. no offense.
--this class only meets on TUESDAYS

**Thursdays I work the 8- midnight shift at the library too.

sooo.. 5 classes, 2 part time jobs (that don't pay enough..).... this is my life... and I'm LOVING IT! wouldn't change it for the anything or anyone in the world.
javascript:void(0)
Sure I suffer, with things that most people shouldn't suffer with, but I manage well. Sometimes i feel like by the end of all of this, i will have no friends in the end, but i think that if people are truly your friends, they will stick around. Even if you don't get to "hang out" as much as one would like.

Ok.posting this before i make it any longer.

8-midnight shifts.

I am tired. I wish i were home in bed asleep.

WHat am i doing at 1:28am at school? well i got stuck with an 8pm-midnight shift at the library every monday and thursday night.

On monday, I had a ride home.. today I thought I would take my parents word and called their house to see if my dad was still up so that he could come take me home. I called.
No answer.
I thought about walking home, I had an umbrella and at that time, the rain was coming down pretty heavily. Despite having an umbrella my bookbag would have gotten wet and considering the borrow books that are in it, I headed towards the Cyber (24 hour lab on campus).

It was alive 90minutes ago, its beginning to die down. I wish everyone would just leave so i can lay on the couch and sleep.

My plan is to wait til about daybreak and head home then. The rain has calmed down a lot but this side of town isnt the best for walking home at this time.

hmm.. not that i have hundreds of followers but since i have nothing else to do here goes my thoughts (as they appear into my head)

*how old are we? ugh. im annoyed by the guys who were watching Family guy on youtube.

*(i say this in the most respectful way i can)To the girl two computers down.. COVER UP. seriously, since when are chubby girls allowed to show THAT much cleavage?

**REMINDER... RAINBOOTS!

***whats a myspace?
haha.. ok so i know what it is.. and i still have one but its getting soo old and useless FB is so much better.. feel free to disagree.

ugh! that only took like 20 minutes! i was hoping it was close to 2am already..

doot doot doot dooottt...

*yawns*

i could call a cab... but i dont even have the money to spend on a 2 second ride.i wonder if theyll look at me funny if i just put my head down and sleep? i wanna finish reading that book for benavides class and write the journal entry but im afraid that if i start reading that ill get more sleepy and i dont want to fall asleep surrounded by a bunch of people who actually do this night after night.