This too shall pass...

where do I begin?


for starters.. I have to apologize for not posting lately. I feel like a horrible friend to some.
I'm sorry. I have been running around everywhere. School is taking up most of my time during the day and when im not there Im at work or doing something school related.

Some updates for you...

-i found a place to stay... the only think left to do is move my bed... :( my back is killing me today wah!

-also I am quitting one of my jobs (the one I really didn't enjoy anymore)

-I got hired thanks to an old friend at my new job!

The hours will be tough but with my new place, gas, phone, and a big, BIG, HUGE TUITION bill, to pay off I am sure I will do fine. I guess I can do away with my phone if I have to but I am gonna just try to manage what ever i can.

So yeah.. when I stress about it all I tend to find myself very depressed... something I loathe feeling, but cant help it.

I need to get back to getting somehomework done, maybe ill fill you in when all is settled and I can reach for the surface for some air. if i have to i will... but my priority right now is to pay off my tuition bill. Registration is coming up soon and I will not be allowed to registered since I havent made a payment in Two months... (I KNOW!) This is why I sort of stayed away from my blog, I tend to blab about the same crap all the time and I am sure I bore some of you. I know that I probably repeat myself in each post and I can get annoying at times. (be honest... you know I am right.)

Maybe Springbreak is just what I needed.

I really wanted to just get away.... With no luck on finding a new job, or a new place to live.. I was feeling pretty low.

Yesterday, was much needed. After spending all day buried in a book, and going to spend time with the ladies from the parish I attend, it was a good way to end a thursday.

Update on the new place - I think I might have found something.. I might move out TOMORROW...

update on the new JOB - since I have been at work since 8am this morning and its quiet slow..I logged on and searched frantically for anyplace that was hiring. I came across this ad and decided to give it a call while I was supposed to be shelf reading.. turns out that I have an interview at 5pm TODAY! which means Fridays might be my favorite days from now on.. AH!

I must remind myself that it is just an interview... and that nothing is set in stone yet.. But the pay is really good and I do hope that I get it... but well see what happens..

toodles.. wish me luck.

There's this void... and I can't seem to shake it off.

I don't know for certain when it all started. I am uncertain as to the conditions it came upon. At first, it was people just telling me I was being weird. Most of the time I agreed with with them. I wasn't moody, or evil towards anyone.. just quiet.

Being alone, living alone, has brought this appreciation for silence, and just being still...even if its for two seconds. I now know that in being quiet, I find myself. I find this peace. I think its because I have finally realized that no one will ever understand the inner workings of my brain, mind, heart.. soul..

I have wrapped my world around school. As where my intentions... and I like it like that. I plan to continue this until I am satisfied. Last week I felt trapped in a bubble.. a bubble that I volunteered for. Midterms were out of this world. The pressure of making the grade.. studying every bit of info fed to me was tiresome. On top of all that I had to shove aside the thought of finding a new place, and the worry of making tuition payments aside. I have faith... and right now.. its probably the one thing that is keeping me here.. breathing.

I share less, cry more, but I know that my prayers are floating around somewhere.. waiting to be answered.I thought it all had to do with school, midterms, etc.
I guess I was wrong... Midterm results are in 2 A's 3B's... A little bummed for the B- but I am trying not to be so hard on myself. Considering the chaos my mind was under.. I am proud. I anxiously awaited these results because I had the hopes that I would get rid of this emptiness. That I would go back to just feeling okay.. I was wrong. Its still lingering and maybe I am being weird, or maybe people are right and I am depressed. who the heck knows??
oh but I do.. I always do...


And the worst part is that I feel completely lost....

SprinBreak to-do list

Oh so I have one more midterm left.. and i can smell spring break already.. heres a list of somethings I want to get done....


1. get started on reading twilight (yes, I know what I said before, but for some reason i dont think it would be that bad right? )

2. find an apartment (this is probably the one thing I am dreading this spring break)


3. find a new job! (one that pays more, ive been thinkng about waitressing?)


4. read The last song


5. sis. Pape (my prof from last semester, i plan to visit her at least once during the break so i can catch up or at least let my fingers fiddle with the piano.. they miss it)


6. SLEEP! (this is probably the one thing i really need to do.. I am starting to believe that my brain has or will be seriously injured due to the sleep debt I have accumulated this semester)


so there you have it... a short post for once.. lol..

Why does it sting a little?

Why? Women are so confusing.. which is why sometimes I hate that I am one of them. LOL

I guess for this to make sense I might have to explain a bit. I know theres a post about Superman around here somewhere.. you can go find it. lol.. anywho.

I don't know why but for some reason hes been in and out of my head for the past week. I looked for his car in the parking lot, I thought I saw him through a window while I was in class on Monday, and on Wednesday I though I saw him in a truck at an intersection on my way home.

Today, I decided to send him a text. Something I haven't done in a very long while. Of course he has not either. I didn't expect a text message back because I am well aware that it may be a bit weird between us, but I wanted him to know that he was on my mind and also that my hopes are that he is doing fine.

It was revealed to me, (about and hour ago) through a social network *cough*Facebook*cough that hes is actually dating this girl I had for a class last semester, I think we share majors because shes in one of my classes this semester too. (note to self - remember to thank her for not showing up last tuesday and presenting Chapt 10 of text , because of her and her group... our midterm will not include Chapter 10! yay)

Anywho, I am happy for the guy. I am. They make more sense that He and I ever would- but it still stung when I found out. I asked myself why? and the only real explanation I came upon was that he understood me, and where I come from and he made me feel "special, and unique", and i cant forget "princesa.." I know that his excuse about him not wanting to be a distraction (from my studies) was just a polite way of saying that despite sharing identical values and morals, and that even though I posses qualities he looks for in a girl, He is shallow. I am okay with it and I hope he is too.