Spain and MIE...Dreams

SPAIN!

So it looks like it won't happen for me. At least not right now. I knew that it was an unrealistic dream. When I first heard of the trip and oppourtunity, I managed to tell myself that I would ask my family for financial help seeing as that I don't EVER ask them for anything. Now that I have more info of the trip I thought about this some more.

I am dying to go, and although I was willing to swallow my pride and ask my family for help, I no longer wish to do so. This is not because I am too proud to ask for help, because of my desire to go, especially with the parish, I was willing to ask them for help. After knowing how they feel about my "dreams," I figured they would only think THIS one too was too high.'

I knew that I would get lectured on how my goals are too high and how I aim for the stars and never really leave the ground. I knew that they would try to shatter this dream and knock some sense into me and their ultimate goal would be to say, "you're right... I won't ever get to reach those dreams because no one from 'us' has or is likely to ever be able to."

I knew from the beginning that unlike most of the dreams/goals I have shared with my family, this one was different. I knew that no matter what they said, how hurtful their words would be, this dream wasn't going to be like the others. This one isn't going to get pushed away into just an idea. Nope, this dream would live and I knew that even if I asked them and they laughed at my face for thinking I was able to reach such a place, that even then I would find the strength to get up and prove them wrong.

I won't be able to go for WYD (world youth day) with the parish, and even though I never told my family, (or intend to) I will go someday. Maybe when I graduate, ill have the means to go then, even if its alone. the point is to go right? It isnt about proving my family wrong.. that takes too much effort...lol..

This is more of something for myself. I want to be able to just plan it and announce to my mom that I will be away for a week... i dont even want her to know where I will be.. and if no one ever hears of my adventure in spain, i wouldnt mind. I am sure that once they do, theyll probably lecture me on how irresponsible i am and how i could do such a thing without letting anyone know but by then i would be back and nothing they say will take that experience from me.

But for now.. the door to Spain has been closed.

Depending on how you want to look at it, it may sound like im just rambling... and that including a picture of a door was pretty cheesy.. lol.. and youre probably correct...

FYI the pic was the inpsiration for this post.

For some, it may seem like its closing.. (Going to Spain) but if thats the case, "when one door closes, another one opens."

Last night i received a call letting me know that they had accepted my application for the MIE (MEXICAN IMMERSION EXPERIECE) group. Originally this was scheduled for the week of spring break. Because Campus ministry thought it was too little time to prep for it, they have changed the dates to the second week in MAY. what is MIE?

In Short, its mission trip the university has every semester. the trip is to the suburbs of Monterrey, Nuevo LEon , MEXICO. we will be going there to help out some of the poorest people of a parish and help with the youth group, elderly and orphans. The cost.. it NOT $4000.. but $100. What difference eh? Ive seen pictures and ive heard people talk about it and i am eager to go. in fact today is our first meeting. We will be fundraising for til we are to set off.

So i know that, most people join this to be culturally immerse in the mexican culture, or because they are learning spanish and want to get the practice, others are doing it because of their social work, theology, or mexican american studies majors. My motives? none of the above. I am a MExican and I am in no need of getting culturally immersed, I am fluent in spanish, and this isnt something required of me for my degree. It isnt also something to replace my trip to spain.

Although most people might look back at their college experience and talk about all the frienships they made, sororieties, fraterneties, or clubs they were in, i know that i wont have that.. I do however want to have SOmething to say, and if its only one thing, i want to make it meaningful. Helping others and practicing what is taught at church is meaningful to me.

I hear we will be staying with a group of nuns, and that the men will stay at the parish we will be staying at with the Father. I am curious to see how some of the other people willl react. Their faces when they showed pics of what the conditions were were revealed some worry. But seeing a pic and experiencing it are two different things. Im not saying i am an expert or that i know what the situation is like there, but i think i can relate a lot to what some of the pictures showed. IT made me want to go even more so than before. A week in MExico and all i need is $100?! you know im there.... especially if its a mission trip to help the less fortunate.