Damn Calixa!!

i am pooped!

Writing this setting analysi paper for my intro to fiction course is driving me up a wall. I have decide to take a break.. only i would choose to take a break from writing by writing... lol.. haha makes no sense but whatever. I like to free write.. and although i know that puntuation is important at times i fell like just blabbling.. besides.. to me blogging isnt really writing.. more like a converstation with myself.. and of course if my wopping TWO readers read this.. wait.. it wont be a converstation because they wont be allowed to reply back.. lol

so anyway.. unfaithfulness has been an ongoing topic lately.. with everything i come across seems like it. first.. that dumb paper im avoiding getting back to.. its about this woman in heat.. lol.. she sleeps with a former lover during a storm while her husband and son are out at the store.. she doesnt get caught because the lover leaves as the storm ends.. but what struck me was that Calixa, the woman in heat, has no remorse of having done what she did.. as the storm passes so does she and just as the the calmness felt after any storm, so does the calmness return to her life and she continues on and receives her husband as if nothing had happend. she loves her husband but how can a woman d such a thing?

coming from a home where infidelity changed the course of my life and brought me to the conclusion that the only way i can ever be sure i am with someone (not that im dating anyone... )who i can trust to not given in to the "programmed urged to spread the seed" is to be critical when choosing someone to be with. The only way i think that this can be obained is to find someone who will chooses to live a life of obedience in the eyes of God.

again, people my ages, for the most part- are out and about dating left and right, popping baby after baby, and some thinking they are doing the right thing getting married because a child was conceived..anywho.. theres no way i can find a guy who has the same values and morals as i do.. so whats a girl to do?

I dont mean to sound as if marriage is on my mind but as another year is creeping on by i have the sense to question when, where and to who will i spend the rest of my life with. i have my degree to finish.. my goals to accomplish and marriage isnt in the near future at all.. (because that would probably imply of me having a bf and since i dont it may be even further in the very far future..) but ugh.. for somereason i wish i had someone to spend time with.

girl friends are ok.. dont get me wrong.. but for me.. its been a while since ive felt cared about by someone of the opposite sex and i miss the feeling of knowing someone was thinking of me.. someone cares.. someone wants to see a movie together.. go for a walk in the park.. or study together..

this post makes no sense to me at all.. did i mentioned i was pooped! my brian feels fried.. so blaH! dont question, its just my ramblings.. i guess i should head back to that damn Calixa and ettempt to explain how the storm had a thing or two to do with her not feeling any remorse for sleeping with someone else who wasnt her husband..