So i have this nephew, he is my oldest brothers son, who lives with my parents. When my mother decided to come to the US she eventually brought all of us, including my eldest brother and his wife. While they were here they conceived their first child, he has all the privileges of a US citizen, but his parents do not.
Back in '98, the same year my nephew was born, my brother decides to follow some friends to Oklahoma, where he says there's more job opportunity and less risk of getting deported, because OK wasn't a border town, nor a state with a huge population of undocumented individuals. So they did. And we visited at least once a year, and had it not been for him moving up there, my family would've never taken a trip that would consist of taking I-35 North, we always go south.. Mexico. I loved visiting my brother, one Christmas, we got snowed in. and we came back a week later than expected, that was my freshman year in high school.
We were all happy for my brother who had made a life for himself there. A good home, stable job, and his little boy my nephew was going to school and learning so much English that by the end of his first grade year.. he would translate for his parents when ever need be.
Then they decided to just one day go for a "visit" to SLP. my sister in law had not seen her mom in almost a decade, and she missed her dearly, who wouldn't? so they made the trip and they're plans were to simply hire a coyote to get them across.. and so their plans soon unfolded and everything went as plan, except they get caught, run fingerprints and bam! find that my brother has been jailed (in OK) for fighting at bars, etc.. (hes a big drinker... or was at least..my first blog on here is mostly about this brother of mine) any who.. he gets told by immigration that if he attempts to cross again illegally and gets caught, he could and would go to jail for 14years because of his record and being in the us illegally. so he says the heck with that, ill stay in Mexico.
My nephew came across with no trouble for he is a citizen of the us. My parents picked him up and brought him over until his parents were across safely across.but when my brother decided to just live in Mexico, our hearts sank. His home, his furniture,vehicles were lost, and while my mom tried to convince him to allow my nephew to stay with us, he wouldn't have it. I didn't understand why they couldn't see that him being with us would be better for everyone. i then realized what we were asking him to do- give up his son, his first and only son. i realized this sooner than everyone.. and when i found my mother crying one day about this issue.. i asked her to just respect his wishes, after all he was only doing what my mother had done which was to keep us all together, she once said "donde esta la gallina, alli estaran sus pollitos" (which basically translates into, where ever the chicken is, is where her chicks are) i remember her vividly saying this to me and my sis when we would beg her to send us back with my grandma when we had first arrived here. We then sent my nephew back with his parents and lived over there for about a year an half.
In the small town (village, or ranch rather) where we come from, school isn't a big deal. Some kids go some don't and attendance is not enforced the way it is here. it was always this way and still is. Most kids are lucky to make it past the middle school and if you make it beyond that, its an admirable thing. we soon got word that my nephew was not going to school and his parents wouldn't enforce it. My brother and sister in law, soon realized ( a year later) that he was best off with my parents and us.
So there you have it. My nephew, can be found here from August til May in school and spends the summers in Mexico with parents and his little sister who was born there in SLP. We have all and will continue to encourage him to do his best at school, eventually work and i am excited too see him enter different stages of life. I made the promise of going for him every august and my parents take him in may, sometimes June and when the funds are available we send him for the Christmas holidays.
This August ('09) when i went for him, he took it fairly well. Tears were shed of course, what ten year old wants to leave his mom dad and little sister? I often think that he enjoys life there. Kids are roaming around late at night and its okay. No real danger there, every one knows each other and so they care for one another. My nephew will only cry, when he leaves them. He does not shed a tear for any other reason.
As we waited for our bus to start boarding, he hung his head and cried. I sat across from him in the waiting area and had the urge to sit next to him and comfort him. I held back the urge though. I allowed him to cry, and although the knot was hard to swallow, i just held in my own tears. AFter a while when he occasionally picked up his head, i sat next to him and gave him a hug. I also for the first time shared what i thought of this whole situation he was in. I write everything down, and i had written a letter for him that i carry with me, the whole writing a letter is just to keep my thoughts, i didnt hand him the letter to read i just said what i remember writing so what perfect time to say those words to him than now. so i did.
(here is what i had written)
Esgar,
I am sorry for all that you are going through, you're life is unlike any other boy. I am proud of you! you have been told that at any given time you have to choice to leave the us and go where you're parents are yet you choose to be here, and go to school and get ahead. You in my eyes are not a boy but a young man already. Your sacrifice will not be in vain. please know that. You will be very successful if you keep the path you are on. IT will pay off, and you will be able to help your family more than anyone else could. please know that i love you and will do everything i can do make your success even greater!
ITs crazy but at times i ask how fair is it that a young boy has to live this way? will it pay off? these questions are yet to be answered. but i have every hope in that the answers are all positive.
in the mean time this little guy is a hero in my eyes and someone i will always look up to, and im 12 years his senior
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