Almost but not quite ....

I attended a graduation ceremony yesterday. She is one of my dear friends, who has accomplished so much despite many obstacles. Shes also one of my followers!! Congratulations again Alicia! I am really proud of you.


I was so glad that ALL of your family was able to be there for you!


My experience at the ceremony was interesting. LOL I ended up getting all emotional because I knew how much this meant to you!

Also, because it made me realize what I will be missing. If you call from a previous post, I will not be walking the stage when I graduate. I figured that if I put it in my head, that I didn't want to walk the stage I wouldn't do it and that I would be fine with it. As I sat there, hearing the speakers, witnessing the graduates walk the stage, and the joy and celebrations afterward, I realized how much I do want it despite my constant denial of it.

Sad to say that it wasn't enough to convince me to decide to walk the stage when that day comes. Al most but not quite. Although that is what I think today, tomorrow I may change my mind. If I do walk, then I'll probably do it alone. No invites, no announcements, nada. My friends tell me that they would be there. No offense but no thanks. My family means the world to me. I'd be more hurt to see my friends there than my family.

Maybe that is what I need to work on. I need to emotionally detached myself from them. I fear that if this occurs, then who can I  call family? If only they hadn't raised me to believe that in the end Family is all you got. OR if only i thought and saw the world like they see it. Maybe I wouldn't be fretting with this  today. If this would've have been the case then I would be a totally different person. So I would just conform to life the way they have. There is nothing wrong with conforming in my opinion, but you also have to be accepting of others if they choose NOT to conform, especially if they are family. That's it, that is all I am asking, for support and understanding of my dreams and ambitions. Am I making any sense?


Happy Sunday! Finals 1 will be over and done with my the end of today.