what if the rough edges never Heal?

First, Please excuse the... ummm the... darn it! sorry for not blogging lately.. Actually I have blogged but they just haven't been public.

Did you guys actually think, I'd stop my complaints, hopes, dreams, tantrums, etc.. that this so called life brings out of me??!!

HA! as if! lol.

Ok so I haven't had much time on my hands to get around to things such as, facebook, blogger, and myspace- if i still have an account there.. lol.. Tom probably cancelled it or should since Im never on there.

Things haven't really been going so great for me. Wait, not everything.. School is probably the one thing that has not suffered. In fact, I am in GREAT standing in most if not ALL of my 5 classes! I don't meant to brag, but not everyone is able to do this and have TWO jobs.

SO WHAT..................?!
-... if i dont have a life?!
-... if I'm paying rent for a place I have yet to see in the sunlight?
- ... if my clothes are still in suitcases??
-... if my bed is still not where it should be?!
-... if i have to wear a goofy uniform to make tuition payments?!
-...if i dont know what its like to sleep for more than 5hours a night?!
-...if I dont have a single day off??

All that really matters is that my grades have never been better. All that matters is that I am more focused than ever.

I quit my old job and found a new one(one which I HATE!!!!- this is a post on its own... and its in the works... more to come on why i hate it so much and why im putting up with it....stay tuned! HAHA), I was petrified and had my doubts about how it would all turn out. I was exhausted just thinking about it. I am exhausted about my routine, and I long to have some free time. I do long to do things and go places and just be with others who have nothing to do with school... meh!

At least people have stopped telling me im depressed and that I need to go see a Doctor... I am however, still trying to figure out if its because I am no longer around. lol. I hear it from the family a lot.. complaints about missing easter, missing birthday parties and the endless guilt cards thrown at me... but theyre the ones who were telling me i was depressed and that i should occupy my time with other things.. PROBLEM SOLVED! quien les entiende! lol.

I have never been this busy, EVER and im sure its gonna get old, and sure.... I dont have to go in on the days i dont have to but i dont wanna worry about paying tuition or SUMMER SCHOOL! (among other things.. like food) lol.. its hard. and yes things would be easier if i had moved back in with my parents, EVERYTHING would be easier except one thing.... SCHOOL!... my one and only current priority.

Despite keeping a hectic schedule where every minute counts.... I have not let go of reading...and although Ihad planned to take this one to the grave I have given into reading the Twilight series. Dont judge ME! lol.. I swore never to get into it for it is was something i thought was dumb and pointless. i was very wrong and I take my words back.

anywho.. thats it for now.

Sorry rebecca.. I know I told you I'd be posting a blog about Superman, but maybe another day.