Exam 1

I wrote this early this morning but i am just now posting it...

So I just submitted my first major exam for this semester...

I say major cus this is the only one I have had to worry about. I'm feeling pretty nervous right now.. the waiting for the grade to get posted is agonizing. I felt like I did ok... I typed pretty fast but I had plenty of time to go back and reread to make sure I was making sense. This class is taught by a professor whom I worked for last semester. EEK! When the class found this out (via the prof not me) they thought I had some insight to her assingments or the answers to everything. Little do they know that working for her and knowing her is what kills me... and although I think some of them wish they were in my shoes, I sit in class wishing I didnt know how critical she is.


Seriously though, you know what boggles my mind??
how stupid some of these people can act... (im not calling them stupid.. im just saying that their ACTIONS are) I hear constant complaints about how early the class is... umm hello! who sign you up for this course at this time??? you did! deal with it. A funny complaint I seem to get a kick out of is when they complain about how cold it is outside and that walking ALL the way to the building is such a drag and how cold their ears get, or how it sucks that they got wet while they crossed the street.

Once I caught the prof give me this look when she heard a discussion between a this girl and guy in the class. They were discussing the weater and how difficult it is to get up in this cold weather and walk across campus (as if its a HUGE campus). The Profs eyes met mine and she smiled.. hinting at me to comment on this discussion... I just smiled.. she give me a nod sort of saying.. "tell them their a bunch of babies... tell them you walk to school" and although i would like to tell them that I do walk to school.. rain or shine.. cold or hot.. dry or wet... i simply dont. I choose not to because i know that unless they are go through it.. they will never understand what its like.

I mostly choose to keep my mouth shut because I have realized that instead of sharing to make them understand that others are in less desirable circumstances, all I end up as a person looking for pity. I realize that sometimes people who offer help are the doing it out of pity.

Theres is maybe two people i know for sure that arent offering to help because they pity me, but rather because they are genuinely good people. And I seriously doubting one of them.

Pity isnt something I desire or expec from anyone... so KEEP IT! it is a horrible feeling when you realize people are being nice to you out of pity. its probably right up there with betrayal and being lied to.