Lessons 2010 left me with...

Happy New year!!

I have been horrible at keeping a blog thus far. The good news is that I have about 360 days left to make it better.

The Holidays were good. I was able spend it with my family. Nothing really out of the ordinary. It still has not hit me that this is a new year. If your are wondering... I never did find the Christmas Spirit.

I thought of my first blog for this new year to be about resolutions. The more I thought about it the more I realized that no one really goes through with resolutions for a new year.

Instead, I have decided to mention a few of the lessons 2010 taught me. It was quite a year, and although I NO LONGER dwell in the past, I do however, believe that who I am Today, is in fact because of what I have learned in the past. Here are a few of my lessons... read on.

Lesson Learned on FAMILY -

You only got one! They may be different, and their beliefs and thoughts may be worlds away from yours but in the end you are in that family for a reason.

God has blessed me so much. If you are a follower and have read previous posts, you might say I complain a lot about my family, and its true.  There have been times where I have been hurt by them, but despite all of that I wouldn't trade them for the world. Things are turning out for the better around my family. I no longer question why they treat me the way they do, I just accept it. I will continue to accept them because God has given me patience and understanding. God will comfort me when I don't understand why they can't accept me and the decisions I have made for myself. God will be my biggest support when I continue my efforts towards school and anything else that may come about.

Lesson Learned on Friendship -

I made so many new friends this year, All the people I interned with are all still considered friends because despite being all over the country, they are still people I can call and talk to for hours on issues that are dear to our hearts. I can call them to meet up even after going months without any communication and pick up right were we left off.

one of the biggest lessons I have learned is that when it comes to being called a friend, it is all about acceptance. I am no one to judge, I am ashamed that I judge a specific individual because their life didn't reflect mine.

Oh also, a word of advice, don't let your friends date your siblings... tee hee hee...especially if you are really good friends.  LOL Things can get a bit messy. this is a joke. haha.. i guess i am quiet the matchmaker... unintentionally of course. Someone I befriended in 6th grade  is now my sister in law... My BF in second grade dated one of my brothers, it didn't work out.. I don't talk to her anymore. A girl I has so much in common with dated another brother of mine and well shes was also weird with me after things ended with them. It just sucks... cus I don't intervene and I can handle them being with my siblings but when its over its as if they break up with me too. Its inevitable, a friendship is bound to change if family gets involved especially if they date. I am hoping I am wrong because I have another really good friend who is dating my OTHER brother and well the idea that our friendship may be altered if things between them don't work out is kinda of disappointing...and sad. I am however very hopeful.

To the friends you  have had for years, applaud them for they have put up with you. LOL Cherish those Friendships and pray that they continue to grow.

LESSON Learned on FAITH -
"god answers prayers in three ways, Yes, No, and Not yet." Keep asking away, eventually your prayers do get answered.
When they do, when he gives you a YES, please give HIM credit, and thank him for his blessings upon you.

God doesn't give us anything we cant handle. Life is hard, being an adult is extremely hard, and sometimes the worse thing one can do is loose faith. If things don't turn out in your favor chances are God have you a "NO". Accept it, don't hold a grudge, and don't be mad at HIM. ask him for understanding and acceptance of his will.


The "not yet" answer is the most ambiguous one of all. It can sadly be mistaken as a "NO". Especially because we as humans are very impatient and want things done when and how we want them. Remember that God doesn't like to be bossed around. Ask for patience and signs to let you know weather it is a NO, or a NOT YET. Don't be in denial. Avoid my mistake and listen to those signs. Don't spend your time, (in my case years!) for something to happen when he gave you "NO" 4 years ago. Chances are He has greater plans for you and it may be something better that you could have asked for. But When he Hands you a "NOT YET" be patient and wait and see what the big hold up was about... chances are its was probably worth it!

Lesson Learned on LOVE, DATING, ETC...
"Love is Friendship on Fire"
"A Bird May Love a Fish, But where Would They Live?"

"If you truly Love someone, Set them free. If they Return, They were always yours, If they don't They never were."

I left this one for last because I wasn't sure if I had learned anything. I did! I DID! LOL

A Shallow guy will always be shallow. Don't answer his calls. and don't take the letters he wrote to you seriously. LOL

Educated guys are SEXY!  (yes I used that word! ) But be cautious because some may be arrogant and cocky because of it too. Be wise and befriend them first, if you like what you see, go for the kill! haha..

Don't, by Any means, accept an invite to hang out with someone you have turned down, Chances are they just want to show off and let you know they have someone who gave them what you wouldn't.

Don't waste your time on someone who has made you their second choice. Especially if you know if your heart that you ARE ONE OF A KIND! .  No matter how great of a guy you think he is or how you can attest that there are no others like him, deal with it. Don't let him tell your heart you were runner up. A great guy will come one day and the butterflies will return, and the twinkle in your eyes will shine again.

Don't ever confuse a NO for a NOT YET. Don't spend your time, (in my case years!) for something to happen when he gave you "NO" 4 years ago. Chances are He has greater plans for you and it may be something better that you could have asked for. (Yes, you've already read this. under the Lesson Learned on FAITH... it fits under this one too.)

Once again, Happy New year...

FALL randomness...

Where to start?

I have so much on my mind that I have no idea how to sort my thoughts out.

First, I stayed up and went to go see Love and Other Drugs Want a review? Well, I was a little disappointed. I was expecting to see this GREAT movie. Instead, I stayed up for an OK movie. I had a hint of disappointment when I saw the line to TANGLED. (which consisted of a bunch of little girls....) By the end of the movie I realized I would have probably been better off standing in line with a bunch of little girls. Love and Other Drugs, was had too much sexual content for my taste. I thought it contained too much sex scenes and nudity that the movie could have done with out. But maybe this is just my conservative side speaking. Other than, that it was humorous and it was a well inspired movie.


Let's see, what else. Oh I have been such a bum this week off. I feel like I did nothing. Homework wise... I am still trying to pace myself and I basically gave up on my online class. I might just have to take it all over again. This not having Internet thing at home was just not good. As it is I already spent more than half of the semester living at the library and I still needed more time on line. But Its no excuse.. its my responsibility and I am owning up to it. Oh well.

Thanksgiving was, rather quiet. Could it be that my family is finally realizing that there is no need to bring anyone else's family over for dinner??? That all we need is US. That with US is enough to have a good time?? Of course, there were others that weren't related to us but its an improvement and i cant expect them to just change from one year to the next. And because I am a realist, I too will not expect this come Christmas time, much less next year. I'm gonna say I got lucky this year with Thanksgiving Day.

Black Friday. Yup I took part in the madness.. I went to the outlets, and it was crazy! I drove, to and from, and I spent money that was not mine. (with permission of course LOL) So while my SIL was shopping with my brothers (her husbands) money, and my sis shopping with money my soon to be BIL gave her, I shopped with my older Brothers money. I guess it was OK. I just wish I would've had enough money to spend on myself. :sigh: oh well. maybe next year. Being back in SM brought back so many memories... While others where busy looking for a certain size, I occasionally found myself with flashbacks of the year i spent there. These flashbacks were filled with good and bad memories. I mostly enjoyed the good memories.

I got home and slept for most of the following day, When i would wake up, id think about the nostalgia I experienced. I ended up feeling depressed. I started to think if the unknown numbers I have recently been receiving were HIM. The thought still gives me the chills. Maybe a change in phone numbers would do the trick.

Also, yesterday I received the most unusual call. Someone from my old job calls me. I remember him because he asked me if i was selling the vehicle that I was driving at the time. It so happen that my dad was selling it, I was just using it until my truck got fixed up. The call took me by surprised, but the guy ended up asking me out! Stupid man. He probably doesn't even remember who I am. HE was old enough to be my dad... that Jerk! the nerve!  It was a reminder of how good of a decision I made to leave that wretched place. And now he insists on calling me... and he can keep calling because I am not answering. HMPH!

I don't know what it is, but at times I feel like I have a huge sign on my forehead that says "looking to get set up." I am not now nor will I be looking to get set up with anyone. I am capable of finding guys to date. I just choose not to. I have a stubborn heart that just wont budge and if I haven't been able to change that neither will anyone else.

"The heart wants what the heart wants...."

This is probably the start of a new blog.... So I'll just ended it here.

just an old date....

So last weekend.. I get a text from an old... well I guess his title would be "friend."

He invites me to hang out with a group of pretty smart people...

Because I was feeling really down, and I knew that if I was to go home, I would literally get into bed and I would just cry myself to sleep, I decided to accept his invite.

A little about this "friend," umm I used to date him.(lets name him... IBO) He is a pretty good guy, working on his masters, Hispanic, hes really smart. Did I mention he is in Grad school?? OK so he is a few years older than I am but that's not a bad thing. ANYWAY that isn't the point. He is now dating and living with someone.

I knew of IBO's relationship status because of good old fb. I decided to go because I didn't think it would be awkward at all. In fact, I thought it would be childish of me to use that as an excuse just because we had once dated. After all, we are grown-ups no?

Well, IBO said he was bringing friends, and of course I wondered if his girlfriend would be there. I didn't ask. I must admit that the main reasons why I went was because he also knows a friend of mine whom I've known since grade school. I thought it would be nice to catch up, mostly I was looking for something to do to get everything I had going on out of my head.

I showed up, and for a few minutes, I thought I had been stood up. lol long story short... we sat down and chatted up a bit.. and ordered disgusting beer , they did... not me.. . one that smelled and tasted like an ashtray! just remembering it makes me nauseous.

Let me just say that it was WEIRD! AWKWARD. I sat across from IBO's gf. IBO and I occasionally looked at each other but each time I did, I felt weird and kept wondering, WHY?

Why did he invite me? After all this time? my friend whom I have known for years asked me what had happened between He and I. I wasn't even aware that she knew we had dated. Apparently Ibo used to call her to talk about me and how much he liked me.

Another thing I noticed was his Spanish. Back when we were dating, it was horrible. In fact it was kind of a turn off for me. I like a well spoken bilingual man. lol.. I noticed that he kept using it and that his Spanish had improved tremendously. I actually left wishing I had payed him a compliment in regards to his Spanish skills. He had no problem speaking it and it may have been to show off to his girlfriend? He kept translating for her. I felt horrible because I caught myself speaking Spanish and him translating what I said in her ear. I tried my best not to speak Spanish, but it sort of just comes out when I hear it.

His gf, is Asian. She too is working on her masters. Kinda shy and kept talking mostly to me. I too wondered if she knew that I used to date IBO. I questioned this because of our conversation and the fact that despite all the people there she spoke to me more than to any one else at the table. It could have also been that I was directly in front of her.

The question still lingers... why would I get an invite?

My friend was curious to know why it hadn't worked out between he and I. I automatically said "because I am not Asian." LOL

No really, He was a good guy... I was impressed, but I got a bit scared when he declared himself to me, (in Spanish!!!!) after having been on a few dates. It was too fast, too much. I mean was I wrong?? I am all about being friends first.. and he wasn't even allowing a friendship to rise. I was quick to set that straight and he said he couldn't just be my friend. He ended up adding me once again as a friend on fb, and that's how I knew he was dating someone else.

So I wasn't wrong. I mean, if he is living with his current gf... that can only tell you what he was expecting and looking for. Which is fine, I don't judge, but that is certainly something that he wouldn't have gotten from out of me.

LOL. I found this and thought it was funny.. enjoy!