My sisters wedding....

So the heading says it all...

lol.

I don't get along very well with my sister, who so happens to be my twin. (if you knew us both, you'd understand why... and those that do know us both, you would agree that this is true).

My sister has had this boyfriend of hers for about 2 years, I think. The point is that no one really approved at the beginning. The reasons are too many to name, and also the reasons don't really matter because she is getting married to him next May..... MAYBE.

Yes, it is a BIG MAYBE. My sister treats this guy so bad that at times I have wondered why he is still around. In fact, I myself, on a few occasions advised him to leaver her. I am a horrible sister aren't I? But at least I have said this while shes is in the room. She knows how much of a horrible person she can become.

At first we all though he was all wrong for her, in fact I still feel the same way about him as I did back then, but if my sister is to marry this guy, then so be it... everyone has already just adapted to his presence and his presence is even missed when hes not around. He probably visits my parents home more than I do. lol.
However, their relationship is on faulty ground because it started out as sneaking around, and because my sister took forever, FOREVER, to admit to everyone that this was the guy for her.

I was so baffled at how she treated him yesterday. Poor guy. He decides to share this with me and I have to admit that he was not at fault. My sister never stands up for him when my brothers, young and OLD, insult him. I cringe when they do this in front of me, and part of me wants to stand up for him. It isn't because I love the guy, HA! yea right! I think I feel this way because I know that it isn't right. And my sister allows it, and sometimes even joins in.
Like I said before, I don't know why hes still around. I have come to the conclusion that he does in fact, in his own way, love my sister. (and if its not love then he really does care for her). Why else would he put up with so much crap????..... never mind... don't answer that.

Any how, they are currently "broken up" (dejados) yet he was at my moms yesterday, begging her to forgive him... The poor guy is asking for my advice, and to tell you the truth I wanted to tell him to run as fast as he could and never return. My sister has never establish his place in the family and therefore he is disrespected by one and all... (i too am guilty... but i have seen the error of my ways since they announced that marriage was in their plans)

I laughed and now pity them because their fight was so silly and she blew it out of proportion. It could be that this is just her technique at getting a really big and expensive gift since her bday is coming up.

I don't like to butt in and frankly, my sister has a point... what do I know about being in a relationship?
I don't think I was butting in, especially if her bf is asking me for my opinion.

Regardless, that was my cue to leave. I left. Pondering and replaying my sister's words over and over. I don't know what it is like, but I know that when i am fortunate enough to be in her shoes I won't pick silly fights with the person I am thinking of spending the rest of my life with. I will most certainly stand up for him if he is disrespected by my family, regardless of who it is.

What a way to start off OCTOBER....

... i'm sure you'll appreciate me not writing a ton of words...

These are just some things i found and i liked!

whats HIS problem....

I have very few people whom I partner up to study...

Even with them, me helping them is never a given. If I am able to I will... but when I am stressing this much about MY presentations, it should be a given that I will concentrate on that and nothing else.


what ever.. some people just need to grow up.. and deal with things.


I can't help but feel bad, he just left... oh well..


This is such a random post but I needed a quick distraction..

Sometimes what bugs me keeps coming back and distracting me.. If I type it out/write it out.. it helps to just get over it and believe it or not it helps me stop thinking about it... and now that i have i must get back to work...


Toodles.

Hope floats???

I had lunch with "Dr. Pepper" (lol- don't ask) and a fellow classmate who has become a friend of mine. The topic always seems to come up no matter where or with who I am with.

This was no different. They talked about their relationships... yes. I pretty much stayed quiet but when asked about who or what guy I was dating, i just sat there. I have, like on most occasions, just sat there and said nothing.

LOL I found it funny how Dr, Pepper keep telling me how it was okay to go out with guys and it be strictly platonic. I don't even know how it came it. What is it and who can explain this to me?? Obviously they did explain it to me and although they had hope I would walk away thinking that this was the way to have fun, and just go out, I didn't. Who needs to go out?!

I have no desire to do any of this, and perhaps people may call me a hypocrite because I always say that I can't wait til I am married with kids. Obviously if I am not out there looking for someone, when will that happen? right?? My answer: In God's Time.

I don't feel like i need to LOOK for a guy. I have faith that God will place him in my path at the right time. sometimes i get impatient and ask for a sign. I have doubts that I will probably never get to experience this, marriage, motherhood. And if I don't I want a sign. A sign that will allow me to just begin to resign to the idea of not ever having such thing. It may be and sound a bit depressing but when your hopes are to build a family where support is unconditional, and marriage is a sacred thing, you can't help but keep hope afloat .

I sometimes think that I am trying to make up what I have lacked in my life. And perhaps this is true... But a big part of this desire that I have is to simply fulfill what I think God has planned in my life.

Yes sometimes I wish he would hurry, But whether I have yet to meet him or whether hes already in my life, I will try to be as patient as i can.

Dear God,

Please hurry.... send me signs, send me something. Give me the wisdom to see and understand what your plan for me is.

p.s. i am willing to relocate. :D

your humble servant,


Teresa

une, deux, troi....

Bonjour! Ca va?


lalalala.. im here bored as can be at work... -the library.

Who decided to open on the Sunday before labor day? it is so dead.

I got to do a lot of my readings an I would probably be ahead.. (not really) if i had brought most of my books.

Lately, I have been really wanting to brush up on my french, and i have no idea why. I think its because of my language methodology course.

Another reason for this is because my nephew, is also now taking french at the same middle school i did. I am saddened by the fact that the teacher who i had (with the exception of Mr. Long) are no longer there. Monsieur Pol and Madame Kel were excellent teachers . My brother, Dav, is in 7th grade this year! he too is taking french. I was upset when he told me he didn't have french class for two periods like I did when i was there. I hope this doesn't mean that they will eventually do away with the multilingual program they have there. That would be a shame.

Anywho... i am so proud that my nephew and also my lil bro are following in my footsteps and are studying french. I can already carry on a very basic conversation with them and no one at my moms knows what we are saying. lol the joys of being tri-lingual! I hope they excel in this and keep at it.

Ready for my random ranting? lol

guess who gave me a call last night at his usual time (2am) ? Superman. ask me if i answered? *pause*


nope!

(I've been thinking of changing his alias to cantinflas... lol ive always thought he looks like him... although he doesnt like it at all...lol also because superman is way too cool of an alias for him... so if I mention cantinflas, take note that he is Superman)



I did lie awake for a bit and wondered what his gf had done this time. Usually its a something valid and he has good reasons for being upset at her. the only times he calls me is to chat about something she did or failed to do. I no longer wish to be that friend who he tells his things to and then compares me to her. All the while, i am advocating for her and asking him to try to understand her. the whole thing is pathetic. For those who follow my blog and actually keep up (if you don't that's ok.. i don't blame you..lol) I had written in a previous post that i wouldn't answer his call the next time he called and i just wanted to share the fact that i kept my word.

It took a while to get back to sleep... I said a prayer for him. I don't see why he still calls me and the things he tells me about him and i getting married down the road is dumb and makes me feel like hes such a kid still. why and who would say that to someone when they have a girlfriend???? whoo?! even after I ask him not to say these things he continues and frankly, now... its just..... annoying.

GROW UP already! geez! lol..

Keeping the Faith

I don't know what else to do but keep the Faith.

Life seems to have found its favorite subject to pick on. Why is it that when I can finally see a dim light.. something ends up sweeping by and blowing it out?

I am excited to for this coming Tuesday.

Since my last post, I have found a new job as a Site Facilitator. I will be in charge of 100+ students and about 3 other staff members. I am nervous for many reasons.

One, the staff. As far as I know they are much older ladies coming to help. I am not knew at being in charge of a position, nor am I knew at at instructing people to do things. But I have experience with older people feeling like my opinion doesn't matter and that because of my age i shouldn't hold such a position. They may be right, because after all they do have more life experience than i do... but it is I that they have given the position to, not them.

I am also nervous because the school is new to me and although i spent a brief amount of time there on Friday, i still don't know what to expect on that first day. The chaos, but I am sure i will find a routine that works for us best.

It is going to be crazy.. but even so.. i have faith that it will all turn out ok.

I have been going over my budget and with tuition and insurance due around the corner i cannot help but stress and yes... break down at the thought of everything and at the thought of the fact that I am coming up blank when it comes to finding a solution.

At the thought of all of this i came to realize that keeping the faith is much much MUCH harder than it seems. A lot of the times i want to just be angry at God for not listening to my prayers and at wondering why this Life is so complicated at times.

Why is ti that my life differs from that of anyone else? I know that I lot of it, if not most of it has to do with the choices I have made for myself. But Why does life insist on beating on me, raining on my parade, or hiding the sunshine???

The rewards at the end of it all, I can only hope, they will be worth the tears, sacrifices etc. I have given all that I am able to give to my studies and my faith. When It comes to faith, I know that he acknowledges it, but HE just has a funny way of showing it.


blah.. that is it for now... my shift just ended and I am about to go jog.. I just need to get my mind off of things.

Au Revoir!

Mujer de POCA fe...

So about three weeks ago, I started attending the Tues night spanish rosary that is held at my parish.

I walked in with a heavy heart. I was full of despair and didnt know what to do anymore about certain issues.

The one weighing the most was my current job. I hate it there. Especially after realizing that the one person i did befriend was leading a life that I didn't think I should be a part of. So I laid my prayers out there. I prayed the rosary with my heavy heart and by the end of it, I felt so good. I wasn't ready to leave and I wanted to stay there a bit longer to just be in God's presence. The couple in charge of this ministry decided to play music at the end.... most people stayed if not all. They all knelt and prayed and talked to God. I was reflecting on the Scripture that was read and HE truly spoke to me.

I wept. Yes, I cried like the baby that I am. But I cried because I knew that I had lost faith in Him. I cried because despite going to mass every Sunday, I still had lost faith in that he would make it all better.

I continued to show up to work and work the double shifts that they'd ask me too. Never complaining and just making the best of it. Every time I would feel offended or sometimes harassed by the people who work there. I would just take a deep breath and continue on with the duties of my job.

I saw a job opening at my campus and decided to apply. I thought this would be great for many reasons. but these are the most important ones...

1. its on campus... this would save me time and gas.
2. I would be an employee for the university I attend... TUITION gets reduced for staff members.. . need i say more?!

When I applied, again I put all my faith in God. When I didn't get a call for an interview... i was crushed...And instead of turning on Him and getting angry, I let it go and I knew that he had other plans for me. This job wasnt it.

I just got called yesterday for a position I hadn't even applied for. A former employer called me and said they had a supervisor position and had thought of me when recruiting. My schedule was off, but I managed to fix it around so that it may work for me and it has.

the best news is that i get to put in my two weeks notice at the job i currently loathe. I will no longer need to deal with people and their crazy lifestyles.

no more waiters hitting and me or thinking I am as 'easy' as anybody working there.
no more hearing waiters complain about the tips they get and cursing customers under their breath.


I am thrilled because this also means more time to just dedicate to my studies!

Wanna hear some more really great news!!???

My truck is ready ! I just need to purchase the state sticker (which i am doing today!).. and if my brother weren't out of town I think i would be driving it already.


Great things are happening!