Goodbye Summer

Where did summer go? I didn't have much of a summer. And the realization that at this time next week I will be in classes just hit me yesterday.

I am excited to get another semester started. It means one semester closer to graduating! Even though all the people I once knew have transferred out I am excited nonetheless.
I know this semester is gonna be a tough one. Especially the financial part of it but I can do it. God i s on my side and he has blessed me and i have no doubt he will continue to do so all through out the semester and beyond. Being at the university I am currently attended I have truly embraced the beliefs on which its founders, The sisters of Providence relied on.

I used to freak out and literally break down at the stress of not having enough funds to pay for tuition, or to cover my monthly expenses. I have come up with a certain realizations at how freaking out or breaking down do nothing but make me loose control of my emotions. Above all this I hate the fact that by doing so I completely loose faith in God. I get caught up in the stress of trying to make enough that I forget to leave it up to Him. IT's hard to "Let go and Let God." I know that I just need to do what I can as best I can and trust that "GOD WILL PROVIDE."



I'd like to think that I am getting good at it.
So with that said... farewell to my summer, and hello to hectic yet productive FALL season!

a devastating let down....

Happy August peeps!

I have no idea where my summer went. Its so crazy how time flies doesn't it? I guess I shouldn't be complaining. After all, we choose how busy our life needs to be.

At the moment I am extremely frustrated at several situations, but the one that I am most baffled with has to do with a huge disappointment that came in result of a "friend" sharing something about herself. For the sake of this.... lets call her ALEX (not real name)

I met Alex through the lousy part time job I currently hold as a Cashier at a tourist trap.
For the past few months i hadn't mind working there so much because I started to know Alex a little more each time we were scheduled to work together. Shes two years older than me, going to school, has two jobs.. leads somewhat of a similar life to mine. There's also some differences, for example, she lives with her dad and nephew, she likes to drink, party.. stuff that I am not known for. That was ok, because you cant judge everyone by the things they do.... well i try not to. Her friendliness at worked made it very easy to overlook such things.

So of course when I get comfortable with a friend.. (female friend) of course "girl Talk" is unavoidable. So it happened. She'd ask me about all sorts of people.... but mostly she was interested in my "love life"... HA! what a joke.. eh??? well anyways.. I did end up talking to her about a couple of guys... just so that I can get advice... or just hear what she had to say. I kind of held back on asking her about the person who currently has my heart because hes special.. i ended up telling her about him when I finally trusted her with it. Of course she told me what I have heard from other people.
But she also made me feel like she knew EXACTLY how i felt. Her words just made it seem like she truly genuinely KNEW EXACTLY how i felt about him and it helped because again, i felt like she understood where I was coming from. But that's not the point.

The point was that I totally saw myself in her. I finally felt like I had found a friend who was living a similar life as i was , that I wasn't totally alone in this!

I was wrong. OH SO WRONG!!!

Turns out that despite having so much in common, we are two totally different people. She confessed that she is involved.. ahem.. (sexually) with someone from work. AS i was about to ask her not to tell me his name so as to avoid feeling awkward around such person, she spat his name out.

Such person is married, with kids... and old enough to be her father! What makes matters worse... such person is the most respected person at work because he is an authoritative figure. Such person was admired by yours truly and thought him to be the most kind and understanding supervisor ever. (FYI- I despise this horrid person now)

Anger filled me! I didn't know what to say or what to do. I was disgusted at the fact that I had considered her and I to be just the same. I don't consider myself better than her but her morals and values are all screwed up!!

It all started to click in place. I always wondered why she would never really talk about her "love life." She did talk a lot about an ex boyfriend of hers but it was always very vague. I never pushed her for details because i figured she would if she wanted to. The advice she would give me about the guys i talked to her about were all invalid now. But what hurt me the most was realizing that the words that she gave me, the words that made me feel like she understood HOW I WAS FEELING towards the guy who i cant seem to let go of, were in reference to HER feelings for that old fart!

How could such feelings be compared. I am ALLOWED to have these feelings for someone and not feel guilty about it because he doesn't have a wife and kids yet... and when he does.. i will have to probably yank my heart out! but HOW DARE SHE!!!


GAHHH! Just thinking about it fills me with such fury that even i get surprised.
:needless to say, I have had a huge let down. this just goes to show ME that you never really know a person.

IT made me loose faith in friendship, men, and marriage... and people in general.
I am angry with her, yet i still talk to her and she knows i see her under a different light now, she hates it but there is nothing i can do to change that. I dont see her as i once did and i never will again. I can continue to be her friend but I dont know that the friendship will grow or that i can consider her a lifelong friend.

See people who live life not in accordance to how GOD wants us to live are just not people who i want to be around. There are people who dont think they are doing anything wrong. and there are people who dont believe in God. But SHE does, and SHE KNOWS shes doing wrong... and yet she's been doing it for God knows how long. am i being too hard on her? Am i just wrong in thinking the way i do??


and then people wonder why i dont have many friends...

2010 NCLR Lideres Summit

Wow.

Where to begin? I knew I would write a blog on my experience, so here it goes...

This was my third year. Aside from BB- the Director for the NCLR Lideres Initiative, I was the only who had 3 years of experience. Believe it or not, I was feeling the pressure of that especially cus it was mentioned often..... - or maybe it was just me mentioning it to myself. ... who knows!

The thing about the Lideres summit is that no matter how many times you've gone through the experience its always different, there's always that excitement you get when you're about to meet the staff. The worries about getting along and making sure everyone is included and feels included comes along with that too.

I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly we became a hit with each other. OF course there were those people who you make a connection with more than with others... but the professionalism that was set forth by all of us was just amazing. We did act a little immature and goofed off a bit at times but who doesn't? The only thing that matters is that we put on a great Summit!


I do miss everyone. IT also never fails that I tend to be more serious about everthing once conference has ended. I think this is due to the fact that I return to my routine and I go about my business. The interactions with everyone around me and the constant reminder that I no longer have those amazing people who simply get me, can lead me to miss the experience horribly.

You see, for those that are reading or will read this someday, the Lideres Summit is something more than just a group of people coming together to put on a conference for other youth. We are a people who may be considered young. We come together because we have a passion to Promote the Latino community and enhance how the rest of the society sees us. We come together to discuss a lot of the issues that our Latino community faces all across the country. WE come together, Most importantly because we need more Latino Leadership in this country. Weather it be to become a leader in your own schools, community, or maybe even becoming politically involved in the city, state or national level. What ever it is WE NEED LIDERES!


A lot of what I have taken from these experiences is the sense of feeling like I belong. At times even my own classmates, friends and acquaintances don't really care to know or do anything that effects or will improve the Latino Community. Yet, with NCLR's Lideres Summit, people you come across just get it. They are passionate about things such as the immigration reform, the Dream Act, etc the same things I find of great importance. With the people you meet and the stories they share, you get inspired to just keep the fight going, to get up and take a stand and above all, to rise to the challenge by taking a leadership role big or small.

There are times when I tend to forget about keeping the fight going. Especially when I live in a City where the Hispanics have just simply molded into the stereotypes that have been placed by other non Hispanics. (teen pregnancy, drop out rates, etc...) These molds have been in place for such a long time that attempting to break them can, and at times seem, something impossible to accomplish.


Getting a call from a fellow staff member yesterday as I was about to go into work made my day. To know that this, the summit, wasn't just a ten day event but rather a shared experiences that leads to having friends - and above all a support system, a familia....all across the country.

DAy 2.

I am so tired. and my feet are in unbelievable pain at the moment.


Our Noche de PRemios is tonight.

Essay winners will be there getting recognized and our sponsors will also be there. Not a whole lot of pressure because the MC will be done by the Director of the NCLR AmeriCorp program.


All I really need to focus on is getting these Contestants for the TAlent showcase all lined up for the show. : -D

This is dear to my heart and i have high expectation, and these expectation were set by me. Last year i was given this responsibility and even though i didnt know how i would pull it off or even if i could.. it ended up being one of the biggest and most talked about event of the entire summit.

hopefully everything goes well and nothing too crazy happens.

after tomorrow I can worry about My role ad and MC for the Lideres despedia.... i dont even wanna think about it.

i got to run to start setting up for the next event ..

toddles.

Welcome Dinner and Gozadera.

Ok so we have about 45 minutes til we put on our next meal event.

after that its the Gozadera.. which iis the dance .. i will probably be more of a chaperon...


im signing off for the day because i wont have access to the internet and will not be back at the office...


ill try to update my facebook status..


im really sad i missed JAnet Murguia (PResident and CEO of NCLR) launch her twitter acccount...

sorry for all the bad spelling.. im in such a rush.


*If you're reading this.. thank you... it never fails.. you are one of the people i can truly just listened to and believe when they tell me things are going crazy ..


ALso.. i was really impressed with the immigration Dream ACt workshop...


... keep the prayers coming.,..

TEresa

WElcome Luncheon

This event was very hectic.

I am proud of my Emcees. They did an awesome job!

If I could change anything it would just be starting on time and wishing I had known about the pitcher of ICe water that fell on stage when we moved the podium.

Definitely one for the books.

IT was aalso really nice to see Wilna and Celina. These ladies taught me what I know and being here without them especially at the Luncheon made me miss the times when I was just a newbie.


But the pressure I felt was just a reminder this comes along with growing up and seizing the the opportunity to be a leader.


please keep praying for me.

The next big event is the Noche de bienvenida..and the Gozadera..


Wish me luck !

2010 NCLR Lideres Summit

Ok so its about an hour before the welcome Luncheon and being one of the Leads for the Meals and Reception committee is a bit nerve wrecking.

I have my MCs and I am confident that this show will go as planned.
My entertainment is gonna be exciting..

MAriachi "L"

Groupo del Cielo... and


of course BB and all of the staff..


got to run and get crazy..

please pray for me.